I'M VALUELESS...AM I GOOD ENOUGH?

  

👐Hi there! Have you ever thought you were such an ignorant person that no one needs you? 😓

😞I used to believe that "I'm stupid, I'm worthless, and if I can't prove my value, I shouldn't even be here." Whenever those thoughts hit me, I’d start crying and drown in negative thinking. The only time I’d feel good about myself was when I got good grades or received compliments, but those moments were fleeting, like shooting stars. After that, I would quickly fall back into negativity. I knew I was struggling with performance pressure.👣

🌆I live in a small Asian country where parents always push their kids to succeed—get high marks, land a good job, and make lots of money. So, as I grew up, I learned that I had to be a "good child," never naughty... If I did something that made my parents angry, I would be punished, sometimes even beaten with a whip. This constant comparison with others left me feeling insecure and overly sensitive. 😷

😶So, how did I manage to break through all of this? As an ambitious person, I tried to prove my worth by comparing myself to others and pushing myself to do better. I would sit for hours, doing endless exercises, always aiming to be the perfect student and the "good child." There were times when I felt like giving up like I couldn’t take it anymore. Tears streamed down my face, but I forced myself to keep going. When I didn’t perform well, panic would set in, and I’d start saying cruel things to myself. 💢💥

❓You might be wondering: How did I get through this? Well, I came up with my own method. After reading many self-help books (though I wouldn't recommend them), I developed a technique I call: The reflecting method.

❗Here’s how it works: First, draw 2️⃣ columns. On the left, write down your negative thoughts, and on the right, write down the positive aspects you could gain from those thoughts.

Okaylah! Let me give you an example using my own experience.

👀You see, while I’m sharing positive thoughts here, they’re real solutions to my own problems. These are the things I can do to improve myself. But what about other reactions or ways of thinking?

💆Excuse me? This is your life. No one else can live it for you, and you don’t live it for anyone else (not even your parents). Look at your hand when you feel scared about what others think of your decisions. You have unique fingerprints, the only ones like them in the world. No one in the past, present, or future will have the same fingerprints as you. You are incredibly precious! Be brave. You can live the life you want. Life is short and you only get around 70 years. Don’t waste it trying to meet someone else’s expectations.

I can be amazing if I want to, but that’s for me, not for anyone else. If I want to just enjoy my life and do things that aren’t what others expect, that’s okay too. I’m still happy with that.

That’s how I started overcoming the feeling of being valueless. I hope this helps you too.

Love,

Violet Hela 🌠